Self Love Project 7

Purple Moose Portraits Aex“I am filled with gratitude these days. It’s amazing to be able to change the way I see the world and my broaden my horizons. But at this point I need to take time for me, to remember my worth and what I deserve.

We are taught to always give ourselves to our children and the one’s we love. But rarely are we told to take care of ourselves first. It is often seen as selfish but if my glass is empty i can’t help others. What are you doing for yourself?”


sm-20160913_7965” Family is consuming.

There’s really no way around it, and I am consumed these days. I had the wonderful opportunity to take in my grandmother recently. Events unfolded and as it came about she needed somewhere to go for in the meantime. I am both proud and honored to be there for her, plus it helps that I now have an extra set of hands around the house and endless knowledge into a past that that I’m dying to know more about. But it comes at a price, as most things do, and I’ve lost the respect and friendship from a not healthy family

I don’t know what’s necessarily unhealthy about this family member but I do know she is not the person she was before. Before she was my friend, and she wouldn’t ever want my grandmother to hurt the way she was. I feel like grief is timeless in some ways. It compounds and skips years in leaps and bounds; left only to waiting when you’re at your lowest. People do and say some awful things when they’re low and some people stay pretty low for years, adding to that heavy pile of grief. I’m no better, we’ve all done and said hurtful things, to say I feel sorry for her; I may as well say I’m better than her. That’s the difference between empathy and sympathy. Nobody wants sympathy really, its shallow and empty and separates us. Empathy says I understand, it says I can see past this, it brings the focus back to what really matters.

That’s only a slight bump in my road these days though. Both my kids are now in kindergarten and preschool! What a contrast to a life I was accustomed to. I’ve been working tons on Diaper and Laundry service-consequently was nominated for a business excellence award in Environmental Awareness. And more recently I’ve branched out to nurture my love for music and performing. The irony is my shattering stage fright. I am literally terrified of public speaking let alone singing but here I guess I just felt there wasn’t enough pee your pants fear in my life sm-20160913_7993and I needed to up my game. The very definition of bravery is not in the absence of fear but the will to do something in spite of your fear. Fear is an emotion I am well accustomed to, so it gives me comfort to think to be brave you have to initially be a coward.”





Me an“I want to take from a post I did on FB earlier this month that I had planned to keep private to my list on FB, but I feel differently now. That the more we show our true selves the more those can relate, my fantastic friend Erika and these two gorgeous gals and their bravery in sharing their life continuously inspires me 🙂 … I want to add to this post that it is so valuable to breathe. Find that strength in yourself in your breath, when you feel like your overwhelmed take 2 seconds and take a deep breath from the diaphragm, take more then one if you can – you’ll center yourself more and more. Becoming centered with my strength allows me to stand on solid feet

Thank you. Thank you to my friends, family (especially mom) and man for the support. Ive been a little up and down struggling to keep my feet grounded. I’ve taken on a lot that I am proud of, there’s been some hard times which suck and I’ve been a bit absent. I have PTSD and with that anxiety, I’ve worked hard through trauma and sometimes it kicks back a tad and I feel a little overwhelmed.       But my life is RICH     I love my life, I love that I take on bigger things, that sometimes it may have been to much at a time but I have great supports that listen to and realign me holding me 100% accountable and telling me to “calm the fuck down” because sometimes it feels like I should be doing “better.”
I want to say, you get a choice in every action. We are all different and if you feel good about 80% of your choices you are doing awesome and I’m proud of you. Our life experiences effect us all differently. Live a life your proud of for you, make the choices that push and take care of you. When you can, honor those around you and listen twice as much as you speak. You will accomplish great impactful things that may not seem like much at the time. But you’re awesome and you got this.
– I value the moments my fingers reach the sky and my feet touch the ground with heart that is full and open.”


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Lots of love!